Taxman
by Hal

Class: Any
Tag: IRS

Introduction

You're a Taxman. You collect taxes from tourists in Tristram and the monsters that live down below to submit to the town Auditor Cain.

Rules

Because the organization precedes the individual, all Taxmen must have a the IRS tag (preferably before their name). Among the commoners (i.e. non-taxmen) you will be referred to as 'the IRS', 'Mr. Taxman', or 'Sir'. Names such as 'bastard', 'bloodsucker' and 'Iwillkillyou' are not acceptable. With other Taxmen, you may refer to each other by name.

When in training, you are sponsored by the government funded training program that will turn you into the heartless killing machine that all Taxmen must become in order to properly execute their functions. However, this cannot go on forever, and eventually, you must start collecting taxes. The amount of taxes the government requires you to collect is dependant on which bracket you fall into.

75% of everything you find must be dropped at Cain. Only one item (besides rings) per dungeon level may be retained. The rest must be liquefied and given to Cain. However, being the person that you are, all rings may be pilfered, as they are too small to be noticed missing.

If the first monster you kill drops gold, they have paid their taxes, and therefore no other monster of the same type may be killed on the level. If they drop nothing, you must extract all the money that you can from those evaders. Squeeze them dry. And if they drop an item, magical or not, you have just facilitated a repossession. Go on to their neighbor and repeat the process.

Taxes may also be garnered from tourists (i.e. your fellow co-opers). Since most of these taxes are grossly unfair, and would raise and outcry, you are required to be subtle, but aggressive. Methods of garnering Taxes need not be blatant, but much "Can I borrow 5K for potions?", "Wirt is selling something REALLY good!" and general telekinesising of gold, chests and items off the ground while in the dungeon is advised.

The Tax Man REALLY enjoys sucking the life out of foes, and is frequently found wielding a weapon 'of Vampires', 'of the Bat', 'of the Leech', 'of Blood'. To ones that are wicked, vicious, ruthless, etc., are also very good. Merciless is especially treasured, and a Taxman must always try and carry at least one Merciless weapon on him, even if he (or she) never uses it. A Merciless weapon of the Vampires or Blood would especially be treasured for finishing off helpless (i.e. Stone Cursed opponents). Prefixes such as Lord’s, Master’s, and King’s are also allowable (as all these people claim taxes).