[SPOILER] Jowy - Peter of Egypt (Green Game)

[Tatan]

Daaaaaamn, Kyan, how have you managed to not win yet? Seriously, are you going for Space Ship?

Also, why did Malakai build Chichen Itza? Never mind, don't answer that.

Related to the first point:



We live in a giant's shadow. We walk by his feet. And do you know what color that giant's foot-fungus is? Cyan.


You may have also noticed Seifer's two gifted knights in the event log.



Peek-a-boo, I see you!



And afterwords, I promote him to shock, for good measure. At 7.6 strength, he's doomed if TT has any decent units in the area, but I can hope.

Oh, and what are this foolishness?



Unfortunately, during my brave war chariot's attempts to rescue the poor slaves of Twinkletoes the Tyrant, his heavily-damaged chariot careened out of control and collided with every single slave.



What a pity. I'm sure it was an accident.

In a similar vein, for those who missed my post in the tech thread:

Tragedy occurred last night. A celebrated Cho-ko-nu battalion was tragically killed in action, after all of them choked on their own syllables. As the commander was passing out, he apparently fell onto a dropped torch, rolled over, and set the nearby barracks on fire. Within milliseconds, all of Valefor was ablaze, despite the best efforts of Egyptian diplomat-firefighters who happened to be in the area.

Rumors of Egyptian horsemen in the area are greatly exaggerated. It was just a weather balloon, I swear!

Assuredly, 'twas a tragedy! A completely accidental tragedy.




I'll prolly just join him to a knight or something.


And, of course, the main event:



So, at first this seems completely random, but I suspect TT might be trying to sneak-attack Leviathan. Observe: if he moves his Horse Archers N + NW, and blocks off the pigs with the rest of his stack, I would have no way to reinforce Leviathan with one-movers in only one turn from Alexander. Counter-attacking the HAs across the river from 1N of the pigs [which I can in fact do due to combat workers] would not only be costly, but also leave my forces open and vulnerable. So, I sought to prevent that.



Enough units [I hope] to save Leviathan if necessary, but not enough to risk Alexander to an HA-ambush. Not that quite a few knights will be in the area to reinforce Leviathan as well.

Well, that's all I can drone on and on about. Join us next time, on Trying To Figure Out What The Heck Twinkletoes Is Doing.

[spacemanmf]

Brilliant stuff.

[Tatan]

Brilliant stuff.

Thank you. I try to make these updates at least moderately informative, considering I'm about the only one in the Greens' game updating with moderate consistency. :\


So, anyway, I was tossing and turning in my bed all throughout last knight [har!], wondering the key question: will the units who razed Valefor survive?!




Turns out TT didn't even try. Both the knight and chariot fled to the forest 2E1S, where I'm pretty sure TT won't be able to hit [although it is possible with mounted units]. His defenses in his own core seem to be pretty much non-existant; it would have been soooo easy to smack that knight down with a spear or something, and yet TT does nothing. According to Seifer, Malakai [who had a quechua wandering through the area] said that TT's garrison were stretched thin, and that his only major stack was the one in my lands. Hmmm, perhaps something to exploit?



If I move my ax in Leviathan to the rice tile again and still see only an ax and a spear on defense in Guangzhou, things could get... interesting. Of course, I might not actually do it; those knights could be needed to attack the primary stack [which you can see near the bottom of the screen 1SE of the mountain], and since three of the knights are loans from Seifer I decided to ask him if he thinks I should do it. But still, razing another city might at the very least cow TT into withdrawing his forces from my lands.


Is there any interest to see the diplo messages I've been exchanging with Seifer? Most of them are simple relays of information, but since he doesn't seem to be posting anything I thought someone might be interested in hearing some of his long-term plans.

[Tatan]

Okay, I concede that title is kinda stupid, but I couldn't think of a pun in under 10 seconds.



Oh noes, pirates! Note to self: do something about that.




Woot, more troops! Unfortunately, those will be the last gifts form Seifer; apparently, Kyan's been researching Naval techs, and Seifer is worried that he will be the first target due to the fact that he is Kyan's only technological competitor in any proper sense of the word "competitor".




Super scout! It's healin' time! He's going to give my troops all a patch of... q-tips? Never mind. I guess the puns just aren't in me today.


Dum dee dum-dum, I guess that's all for this tur- wait





...or, you know, not, since Shiva can't even be attacked next turn anyway, and all my troops can move there THIS turn regardless. So this accomplished for TT nothing, right?



DEAD WRONG.





I think you know where this is going, right?



First the cat barrage.



Until I physically cannot do any more collateral damage.




Then the knights ride in for some flanking-spanking.




And thereupon occurs mass slaughter. Burning, pillaging, the usual fare.




And yes, you read that screenshot right, I killed every unit but one [which I could have also killed, but didn't want to expose a unit to counter-attack]. There is a possibility that TT can hit this stack if he has combat-workers, but I would doubt it. Just in case, though, I promoted most of my knights.



And yeah, I know the new knight names don't fit the city theme, but I've been reading Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and since TT is China I couldn't resist.



But hark! "Nooooo!" you cry. "What about Shiva?!!!"

What about Shiva?



That's right, in order to make me shift my troops around, TT sacrificed his entire main stack. So the answer was: TT accomplished negative things! :neenernee

Of course, that statement might come back to haunt me, but I regret nothing nonetheless.

My total losses: 11 catapults, 1 longbow [396 hammers]

His total losses: 21 CKNs, 16 catapults, 6 trebuchets, 4 swords, 3 axes, 2 spears, 1 pike, and a partridge in a pear tree [3071 hammers]

Umm, yes, I am smug, but for good reason; that's about a 2:15 ratio of hammers. I really wish I had TT's graphs right about now...


Of course, there were two more casualties in this battle:



My precious Worker-Slayer [and his little knight, too]! Unfortunately, not a single tile I move to can save them from death, if TT really wants to kill them. Well, at least they might be able to serve a purpose in their demise; specifically, they moved into the forest 2NE. And if TT moves the stack there next turn...

[Jowy]

Haha nicely done!! Also, your reporting style is very entertaining!
BTW, perhaps a bit of foreshadowing from Kyan in the IT thread.
He quoted you and said "See you soon" and posted a song with these lyrics:

Woahohoh, Woahohoh, Woahohohoh
Woahohoh, Woahohoh, Woahohohoh

My soldiers march tonight in the city of your dreams
This beautiful army are tearing at your seams
Down on your knees, cure this disease
I'll take it all, everything I see
Oh, can't your hear this symphony?

Behind these walls we'll watch it fall
As our union crumbles into hell

It's not the end of the world now, baby,
So, c'mon, dry those tears (woahohoh)
It's not the end of the world now darling,
But I can see it from here

Oh baby, don't cry tonight, because your tears they will gleam
Underneath this blood red moon I'm deafened by your screams
Watch what you say, I will betray
My promises, they will decay
I'll make amends, but not today

Behind these walls we'll watch it fall
As our union crumbles into hell

It's not the end of the world now, baby,

[Tatan]

Haha nicely done!! Also, your reporting style is very entertaining!

Thank you!

BTW, perhaps a bit of foreshadowing from Kyan in the IT thread.
He quoted you and said "See you soon" and posted a song with these lyrics: [snip]

Whoops, I guess I should have done more than just glance at the link; nice snooping, Jowy. So, it seems Kyan means to attack one of us, and considering the fact that the message was quoting me...

...and with that in mind, here is the message I received just now after playing the turn:

Guys,

Good game and thanks for the fun.

-Kyan

Aw, don't do this to me! Don't leave me hanging like this! Let me know how I'm going to die!

Seriously, though, three options:
-He blitzed me [bad]
-He blitzed Seifer [worse]
-He got Malakai and TT to gift him all their cities [worstest]

Or may I should just wait and see what actually happened.

[Tatan]

Okay, so both Twinkletoes AND Malakai just vassalized to Kyan, and apparently he will win via Domination next turn. Laaaaaame. Okay, Kyan had everybody else blown out of the water, but actually I think it was a winnable scenario. I believe that I was close to making significant progress on TT [a humongous stack was preparing to move right next to Nanjing next turn], and Seifer had already acquired contemporary units to Kyan. If Malakai had allied with us against Kyan, we might have had a chance to pull through and defeat him; not exactly a high chance, but it was certainly there. I guess people were simply fatigued; after all, no one else has been updating their threads, and the fight against Kyan would have been pretty grueling, especially for Malakai. My gripe is just that I think that this is a cop-out victory for what has been a pretty interesting [and fun!] game, despite my extremely short tenure.

Oh, and also did I mention that I'm bitter for not getting to attack TT?

[spacemanmf]

Boo, that is rubbish.

Should get some random players to continue after the "domination" victory to see what happens.

[MJW (ya that one)]

Okay, so both Twinkletoes AND Malakai just vassalized to Kyan, and apparently he will win via Domination next turn. Laaaaaame. Okay, Kyan had everybody else blown out of the water, but actually I think it was a winnable scenario. I believe that I was close to making significant progress on TT [a humongous stack was preparing to move right next to Nanjing next turn], and Seifer had already acquired contemporary units to Kyan. If Malakai had allied with us against Kyan, we might have had a chance to pull through and defeat him; not exactly a high chance, but it was certainly there. I guess people were simply fatigued; after all, no one else has been updating their threads, and the fight against Kyan would have been pretty grueling, especially for Malakai. My gripe is just that I think that this is a cop-out victory for what has been a pretty interesting [and fun!] game, despite my extremely short tenure.

Oh, and also did I mention that I'm bitter for not getting to attack TT?

See humans do become vassle states!

[Tatan]

Hey chaps,

I thought vassals granted the master all their land for domination purposes, but it turns out it's oly 50%. Bother.

Guess i'll have to do this the other way then. Apologies for any confusion.

Yours,

Kyan
Bregan D'aerthe

R U SRSZZZZ??!?! Glorious day! I can continue the glorious struggle of futility! For glory!