[Spoilers] Defining the phrase "€˜Hung Like a Horse"€™: Pb & the Kuriotates

[SevenSpirits]

Prediction: bear moves south.

[pocketbeetle]

Prediction: bear moves south.

That is not what I want to see for the 300th reply of this thread!

Don't worry, I already have a picture lined up if the damn thing does move South. It's a Star Trek one!
Now a plan on the other hand... hmm well.
Guess maybe I should think about that too. Warp engines?

[pocketbeetle]

Diplo:

Received the following from Sareln this morning, clearly he’s been keeping tabs on who has second cities.

Sent: Saturday, August 14, 2010 2:21:52 AM
Subject: Cartography

Congratulations on your discovery of Cartography.

If you are interested in trading maps, let me know. As a starting
point, I think mine are probably more valuable than yours right now,
due to my use of additional scouting units.

I can also now confirm the location of the Calabim, if you have been
unable to meet them so far.

-Sareln-

Chuckle chuckle.

Noooo Sareln, I think mine are worth more because they contain details on a civ that no-one has yet managed to locate…namely ME.

Plus, I’ve already got a map trade with Selrahc lined up. Selrahc has contact with everyone, and I believe he found the Calabim (Bob) himself.
I’m just waiting to found Yellow dot as mentioned, avoiding any “but if you settled your second city there, you’d have more room” arguments.

The map trade with Selrahc should hopefully give me info on Archduke and Bob.
I know Cull’s location and probably know more about his area than Selrahc, given that he met a Khazad warrior for contact.
That leaves Sareln and Selrahc’s immediate area, which Vanilla Ice did a great job of mapping out, with the exception of the fog South of Selrahc’s capital.

So, where was I? Ah yes.
In short, I see no reason to give away my location by engaging in a map trade with Sareln.
Selrahc may start talking and giving away details on me to other players later, but there’s no way he’s going to be researching Cartography anytime soon, not with me giving him Open Borders and a map trade. Later on, he’ll hopefully have his hands full with a war and extensive city maintenance, which may slow his tech rate.

My diplomatic intentions moving forward are:

• Stay on friendly terms with Selrahc and Cull.
  
• Find Archduke and Bob.
  Either with workboats or later hunter/hawk units.
  Depending on what the barb & bear situation looks like, I might try finding the closer Archduke by sending Vanilla Ice out (understandably he’s a bit nervous).
  
• Leverage my cartography monopoly for…something.
  I’d like to sell maps for cash, but the required tech for gold trading might be a long wait.
  Additionally, Cull will never part with a single gp, so I may aim for trade concessions and + diplo from him instead.
  
• Continue to keep Sareln at arms length.
  I don’t want to utterly piss Sareln off, because there’s still the outside chance those Priests head my way, and if so, I’d at least like to be able to have a conversation with him.
  But equally, it’s clear I’ve set my stall out for neutrality/ taking Selrahc’s side in the coming conflict, and I’m content with that.
  

So should I answer this message, or should a certain other person deal with it?
I think if I give it to the Hand, it’s going to have to be humorous.
Fine, on a good day I can do funny.

Dearest Queen Sareln,

Thankyou for your congratulations regarding Cartography.

Lord Pocketbeetle would have loved to reply to your message, but his schedule has very little latitude currently and as usual he’s off the grid.
Between you and me, most of his time atm is being spent iso bars and women with great contours (datelines suck, and not in that good way).

Once Lord Pb is back and has got his bearings, I’ll map out your proposal to him.
Hopefully it’ll be before next isthmus.

Regards,
M. Keown, Hand to the Kuriotates

Will he equator the above to a polite rejection? Hopefully.
He’s still not commented on the Queen part.


Q. Why do paper maps never win at poker?
A. Because they always fold.

Have you ever tried searching the internet for Cartography jokes?
Seriously, the best I could find was that above, the rest were like this, freaking terrible. :thumbsdow

[pocketbeetle]

News just in!

Our fuzzy friend moved... SW!
Maybe we can both coexist after all. =)

[Adlain]

So go-on then, give us the OTHER picture you had lined up if Mrs Bear had decided to move where you didnt want her to.

[pocketbeetle]

Turn 64:

Vanilla Ice and the Savant moved as planned.
Will probably move Vanilla Ice NW next turn, onto what looks like a forested hill?



Selrahc only has one warrior in that stack in the top right, suggesting the skeleton barrow popped a second skeleton just before he attacked.
Interestingly, the unit has the property ‘has already cast this turn’ (didn’t know I could get that information on opposition units), yet still has Orthus’s axe and the Healing potion…
In fact, gimme a second, I’m going to have to take another look at that.

Yeah that’s weird, I’m definitely going to have to ask him about that.
I know you can pass the Axe around between units, but I don’t think you can give and take the item to one unit in the same turn. (Detaching or attaching the Axe counts as casting a spell, and a unit can typically only cast one spell per turn.)
So why does that unit have the ‘already cast’ property?

The other question is: does that barrow still appearing on the map mean he failed?
I’m thinking so.


Over at Yellow dot, you know what happened.



Bob the worker completed the road on the hilltop, Fluff moved E onto the plains hill, Bobbin followed him with the intention of make-work roading.
Beefy moved W into the river bend, Boggy B moved NE away from the bear, hopefully it’ll follow.

Leaving the settler to do this:

(Sound effects optional)

Barring anything truly awful happening, Yellow dot gets founded next turn.


Demographics:

• Sareln gained +1 pop in his second city, now size 2.
  
  
• Rival best soldier points decreased, Rival Av went down by 0.6k, ie a warrior.
  I think Selrahc did fail to destroy the barrow. Oh well, he’s still got the highly promoted one.
  
  
• Crop Yield: Rival best is Bob at 23.
  He’s still on one city, still unhappy at size 7, so that means 6 tiles being worked, to make 21 food. 21/6 = averaging 3.5 food per tile worked. Quite high.
  

[pocketbeetle]

So go-on then, give us the OTHER picture you had lined up if Mrs Bear had decided to move where you didnt want her to.

Adlain:

[v8mark]

I have nothing to say apart from: your reports are great and keep up the good work, both in-game and on these forums.

I'm also trying to work out why the 'hand' is Martin Keown...

[pocketbeetle]

Thanks for the kind words v8mark. =)

As for the Hand… I’ve been waiting for someone to ask!
The Kuriotates needed someone known for diplomacy and tact in high pressure environments, and Martin Keown seemed like an natural selection.

For our American cousins who are unfamiliar with Martin Keown, he is a footballer turned tv pundit who was known for espousing the best of British defending, namely the thunking physical side of it.

He is on the right in this picture.

The player on the left has just missed a crucial penalty for his team.
Mr. Keown can be seen to be commiserating with the luckless chap, and is clearly offering his best wishes for future efforts on goal.

Yes, definitely the right choice by me there.

[Adlain]

iirc he got a fine and posablie a suspention for that incident.

I knew it was Martin Keown you where thinking of as that is such a unuseral sername and i (now after the WC) know you also like football.