All day, I have been bored. I do not deal with boredom well, and, I am seldom bored. I can always find something to do. Today has been an exception, as it seemed that nothing I have done has held my interest very long.
Please forgive all spelling and grammatical errors. And broken out of place sentences like this one.
I am starting to believe that boredom is actually something more then a state of mind when one has nothing to do. After sitting here all day in horrible pain with nothing to do, I have started to evaluate my own processes of thought as I sit here, and tried to see where they lead.
I think that boredom, for some, like my self, is actually the manifestation of the apprehension of looking inward to bits of the yet unexamined self. Those dark corners where nobody likes to look, but, when nothing else is on the agenda, some part of the mind begs to have those cobwebs cleaned out. A manifestation of anxiety, self doubt, and possibly some short comings somewhere in the complicated armor of self esteem. No matter how confident, brash, or full of one's self, we all have weak spots in our esteem that we are loathe to confess to. During moments of extreme boredom, we have nowhere to look but within and some of us don't always like what we see or see stuff that we keep putting off for another day and dread the responsibility of dealing with it. That "Ants in the Pants" feeling is actually a type of coping mechanism I think that our mind creates to motivate us to hurry up and find something to do before we have to staring into the Abyss within and dealing with our inner demons.
I am probably sounding a lot more smartsy fartsy then I really am because I am high. This is probably the deluded ravings of a lunatic. I will most likely look back on this when the fog in my mind clears and laugh my fool head off for sounding like a tard. Go me.
Should this be the case, and for some people it is, perhaps that is why so many various types of sensory depravation experiences in so many cultures and religions exist. Monks and various types of mystics perhaps achieve what some consider to be spiritual enlightenment by reaching frightning levels of boredom that drive them half mad and they have no choice but to look into the Inner Abyss for entertainment. And they drag out every last of those Inner Demons and kick their asses for shits and giggles. If this be the case, well, in a few more days, I shall become the Eternally Enlightened Wally Llama. When I reach this plane of existence, my wordy pontifications shall become even more profound then Sirian's. (No offense my friend, I hope. Lemme know and I can edit this out)
How deep is the rabbit hole? I have asked this question all my life, since I was but a small boy and reading that story for the first of many times. I believe, upon reaching critical and possibly life threatening levels of boredom, that I will finally have my answer. Today, I have seen the edge of the Abyss, and it ain't pretty. There are many eyes looking back, and none of them friendly. In the terms of voting, "The Eyes have it." I shall have to uproot that democracy and become the despot of my own inner regions. Make all inner voices my own.
Or I need to quit taking pain killers and making bad puns. And find something to do.
Please forgive all spelling and grammatical errors. And broken out of place sentences like this one.
I am starting to believe that boredom is actually something more then a state of mind when one has nothing to do. After sitting here all day in horrible pain with nothing to do, I have started to evaluate my own processes of thought as I sit here, and tried to see where they lead.
I think that boredom, for some, like my self, is actually the manifestation of the apprehension of looking inward to bits of the yet unexamined self. Those dark corners where nobody likes to look, but, when nothing else is on the agenda, some part of the mind begs to have those cobwebs cleaned out. A manifestation of anxiety, self doubt, and possibly some short comings somewhere in the complicated armor of self esteem. No matter how confident, brash, or full of one's self, we all have weak spots in our esteem that we are loathe to confess to. During moments of extreme boredom, we have nowhere to look but within and some of us don't always like what we see or see stuff that we keep putting off for another day and dread the responsibility of dealing with it. That "Ants in the Pants" feeling is actually a type of coping mechanism I think that our mind creates to motivate us to hurry up and find something to do before we have to staring into the Abyss within and dealing with our inner demons.
I am probably sounding a lot more smartsy fartsy then I really am because I am high. This is probably the deluded ravings of a lunatic. I will most likely look back on this when the fog in my mind clears and laugh my fool head off for sounding like a tard. Go me.
Should this be the case, and for some people it is, perhaps that is why so many various types of sensory depravation experiences in so many cultures and religions exist. Monks and various types of mystics perhaps achieve what some consider to be spiritual enlightenment by reaching frightning levels of boredom that drive them half mad and they have no choice but to look into the Inner Abyss for entertainment. And they drag out every last of those Inner Demons and kick their asses for shits and giggles. If this be the case, well, in a few more days, I shall become the Eternally Enlightened Wally Llama. When I reach this plane of existence, my wordy pontifications shall become even more profound then Sirian's. (No offense my friend, I hope. Lemme know and I can edit this out)
How deep is the rabbit hole? I have asked this question all my life, since I was but a small boy and reading that story for the first of many times. I believe, upon reaching critical and possibly life threatening levels of boredom, that I will finally have my answer. Today, I have seen the edge of the Abyss, and it ain't pretty. There are many eyes looking back, and none of them friendly. In the terms of voting, "The Eyes have it." I shall have to uproot that democracy and become the despot of my own inner regions. Make all inner voices my own.
Or I need to quit taking pain killers and making bad puns. And find something to do.
![[Image: vipersig.jpg]](http://www.danasoft.com/vipersig.jpg)