Part VII
Funeral for a Friend

Eddy was tired beyond words. The past two days had been a frantic succession of scouting parties, skirmishes, and exploratory missions into the Catacombs. He and Sissy had led small scouting parties of rogues, seeking the main body of demons Kashya was certain was poised to attack her stockade. They had found another waypoint deep in the catacombs below the Cathedral, but every mission to explore beyond that had been repulsed by hordes of demons backed by green skinned magicians. This last scouting party had laid ambush to a group of goat demons and finally cleared the way to the stairs leading down. Kashya’s map had been right this time.

After two days of preparation and prayer, the Sisters had the conducted a funeral service for Slicer and Saucy. As he knelt before their bodies prior to their being interred, Sissy softly sobbing beside him, he felt an overwhelming weariness fall on him, and desired nothing more than to sleep without dreams. Then his reverie was interrupted as a huge man knelt across Slicer's body from him, and let loose with a wild howling and pounding of the ground that could only be some sort of ritual grief in the mountains, Eddy supposed. He stared in grave silence as the man finally calmed down and looked at him with grief stricken eyes. Eddy went cold to the bone.

The large man stood up. To his left stood a blond haired archer. They had apparently been looking for him.

“Are you Eddy of Westmarch?” growled the large man. Eddy never heard the rest of what he said over the roaring in his ears. He could only nod stiffly, his stomach tumbling in emotion. The family resemblance was uncanny.

“Have you come to collect a wereguild?” he asked. Then he remembered himself.
“Please forgive my manners,” he stammered quickly, “I feel that I am beholding the ghost of my slain comrade in arms, Slicer of the North. Are you his kin?”

The young giant nodded. “I am. I presume he fell in battle against foul demons." He knelt and presented his sword to Eddy. “I must avenge his death. Will you accept my service in his stead?”

Eddy sat down. He was not ready for this. Sissy, pale faced, whispered something about Akara,and fled.
“Well, you need not serve me, mountain man, you need only serve the Light and be a stalwart foe of the Evil Three, as Slicer was always. I will be privileged to have your sword at my side. Would you hear of his deeds?" Barely waiting for Dicer's nod, Eddy described their battles together, and Slicer's tragic end, including how he had left his Mountain forged sword buried in the skull of a bovine demon. When he had finished, he waited for the young barbarian's response.

The large man’s eyes grew round as he struggled for words. The blonde woman filled in the silence.
“Tell you what, handsome, if you help Dicer recover his brother’s sword, you will have made a friend for life. I, on the other hand, am a bit harder to please. I want to know just one thing: where is the nearest tavern? I have a thirst that would gag a Thorned Hulk. We have been fighting demonspawn in the Black Marsh for the past week, and just got done killing some crazed shade of a countess and her pet goats in the Dark Tower. The smell of demon blood needs beer to wash away, if you catch my drift.” She winked, and for a moment Eddy swore he saw Saucy standing before him with her devil-may-care smile.

“And who would you be, bold archer?” he asked. “You have the advantage of me.”

The woman paused, and then answered with an edge to her voice.

“Well, some guys call me Sassy, and some guys call me Barmaid, and some guys call me a Brazen Strumpet. Of course, the last guy who called me that got his arse handed to him. But if a fella wants to get to first base with me, he calls me whenever he has a cool flagon of ale he can’t find a home for. Or he just calls me Sweetheart, but that can be risky too.” She grinned, giving Eddy another Saucy flashback.

He found himself utterly lost by her explanation, and in response could only blurt out, “So I can call you Sassy, and you will not be offended?”
Her grin broadened.
“Sure, call me Sassy, call me Sheila, but don’t call me late for happy hour!”

Dicer shook his head and groaned.
“Sir Eddy, don’t bait her like that, please. She is an out of work comedian, and can go on like this for hours. If we could only get the demon spawn to stand still long enough--“
“I’d slay ‘em!” Sassy finished with a cackle.

Eddy looked up at the bright stars, calmly realizing that the Light provides an infinite variety of ways to quell the darkness. He held out his right hand to the woman.
“If you will join us, Sassy, we are about to delve deep into the catacombs and mayhap confront the demoness Andariel. If you are as quick with your bow as you are with your wit, I will fear no darkness with you covering my back.”
She gripped his arm in the warrior’s salutation, and suddenly pulled him close to her, kissing him full on his surprised lips.
“Ahhh, what’s up, Doc?” she cracked, as she stepped back.
Eddy turned and fled to Gheed’s tent, suddenly very thirsty; and anxious to be anywhere but in the company of that strange woman when Sissy got done with her facial in Akara’s pavilion.

Dicer stood staring down at the two corpses. One of the rogues, Aliza, wandered over and asked if she could be of any help.
Dicer shook his head. "According to our traditions, a warrior must go to the afterlife properly armed so that he may continue to fight evil. Ah well, perhaps I can find him substitute gear."
Relief spread over Aliza's face. "I would consider it my honor to supply weapons for Slicer. They can be buried with him this evening."

Dicer was aghast. "BURY HIM?! That would condemn his soul to tunnel beneath the earth for all time! According to our customs, his body must be burnt to cinders. Only then can his soul be free to walk the heavens and join the warriors in the Great Mountain Hall. I insist you burn him, as is proper. But your gift of weapons and armor would be welcome." Then he added, "I do not know the customs of the Amazons, but if this woman fell avenging my brother, she has earned the right to burn with him. Sassy, is that a proper funeral for one of your people?"
Dicer looked up. Aliza was hurrying off to consult with Kashya. Sassy stood staring at the body of the slain Amazon with a puzzled expression on her face.

He asked, "What is it, Sassy? Do you know her? You look like you¹ve seen a ghost."

Sassy started, appearing to have just realized that he was there. "What? Oh, um, this is going to sound weird, but I can¹t get over the feeling that I¹ve been through this before-- that I ought to be lying there."
Dicer shuddered. "Sassy, don¹t tempt the Spirits like that. They may send you what you think you see."
With effort, Sassy turned her back on the corpse. "Thanks, Dicer, I¹ll remember that." Her face abruptly fell. "Dicer, I am so sorry about your brother. Can I help you prepare him for your rituals?"

Dicer replied, "Thanks, Sassy, your help would be welcome. Again, about your countrywoman, do you think that she would object to being cremated with my brother?
"No," Sassy slowly shook her head, "I think that she would have approved. Some of our mercenary guilds have similar rites."

That evening, Kashya and her rogues erected a pyre for the bodies of Slicer and Saucy. The only awkward moment came when Dicer opened the veins on his brother¹s arm, then did the same to himself, letting blood drip to the soil. Sissy gagged and ran from the ceremonial circle around the bier when Dicer had to roughly massage Slicer¹s arm to get some of the congealed blood to drip out.

"Why are you doing that?" Eddy asked, looking on with the fascination that a bird must feel as it gazes into the eyes of the approaching snake.
"In our homeland, when one takes on the oaths and duties of another, the two must mingle their blood together to seal the bond," Dicer replied matter-of-factly. Formally, he intoned over his brother¹s body, "Blood of my blood, I will take up your burden. Blood of my blood, you shall be avenged."

Dicer was surprised by sudden movements at his side. Eddy, Sassy and even Sissy had re-entered the circle. One after the other, each repeated the bloodletting and the oath. Dicer was moved beyond words. He could only stare, open-mouthed, at his new blood companions. Finally, he managed to choke out a hushed, "Thank you."

Akara slowly paced forward, the rogues forming into a ceremonial procession behind her. At the pyre, Kashya passed forward a burning brand, which Akara offer to Dicer. In deference to her age and wisdom, he silently indicated that she should light the pyre. With a surprising strength, Akara lofted the torch into the air, uttering the same blessing that lent fire to the arrows of the rogues.

The flames caught quickly, and burned brightly. The funeral fire burned long, accompanied by the songs of the Rogues, songs of Westmarch, songs of the Southern Isles, and the wild battle songs of the North.

Forward to Part VIII >>