[PB22 Spoiler] Joey and Borsche puke on the funny pages

[boak]

actually im the best

[sesh]

this is insane i had no idea you were in a yearlong spacerace pb

[GermanJoey]

yeah, its some crazy shit dude. too bad the game is dead, as the lead player, Gawdzak, is currently missing. I still think I have a pretty good shot, too...

[Tsargon]

I'm the third best player on badgame dot net, after Latina Pride and Snood. German Joey is the fourth best.

As a senior regular I can confirm the above ranking

[Qgqqqqq]

Worse - that looks to be an island, and from what we can see they've failed to settle even one city on the coastline. Unit transport/supply is going to be a nightmare, even once they've got a fort down. 2S just looks eminently superior.

...

its a reference to this: http://www.garath.net/Sullla/Civ4/RBPB2-4.html

So? Does that make the critique any less valid? Unless you've contrived it, in which case, so what? I wasn't trying to make a point about RB vs. Whatever site you're talking about, I was only critiquing that specific image.

[GermanJoey]

That's all very true, I agree, but you're missing the joke, I think...

[GermanJoey]

Gavagai has lost his motherfucking mind. Why does he even want to play this game out?

[GermanJoey]

I'm ten kinds of tired today, so y'all will have to wait for a real update. But. What are you freaking out over today Joey. Well. Let me tell you. Gavagai has begun gifting 2metra ICBMs and Tact Nukes. Well, Ok, fuck you too dude. However, that's not what's really driving me crazy. I don't have any problem with unit gifts and proxy wars from a rules standpoint, just from a diplomatic standpoint of this basically being pissing in my face during our enforced peace treaty. Indeed, fighting a proxy war during our peace treaty makes a lot of sense, if... he's gonna dive in on me in 4 turns. And that's certainly possible... he's posturing with his units again, he has like 3 dozen planes in range of Maracana and a bunch of subs just off-shore with tacts, with who knows how many ICBMs in his backline. His power graph has flatlined but he's still got about a 2M troop edge, although that's partly only because I've invested in so many ICBMs (I'll have close to a dozen soon).

However. What is beyond baffling to me is that he, yet again, wants to open borders with me. Every turn since the restart of this game I've gotten the same fucking request. In fact, this turn he wanted to emphasize how emphatically he wanted these open borders that he spammed somewhere in the range of like 50 OB requests (I have no idea exactly, but I was slamming exit diplomacy for like a minute straight) *WHEN HE WENT IN TO EITHER PAUSE OR UNPAUSE FOR ME*. Like, what the fuck? What an asshole! PB21 Suttree comes back to haunt me. These OB are so baffling; we get no economic benefit and OB to enable backline scouting makes no fucking sense either what with both of us having like dozens of transports and carriers and submarines all over the fucking place. So these OB are surely some sort of scheme.

After the last time we went to war, he did the same thing (but w/o the mass spamming), relentlessly spamming OB until I relented. I eventually gave in and gave him the OB because I thought he wanted to concentrate on winning the space race as his empire was still stronger, with considerably more land, than both Gawdzak's and mine.

However, it's very clear to everyone how wrong that read was. Got me good there. Big Egg on Your Face, Joey. But why. WHY WOULD DOES THIS MOTHER FUCKER THINK I WOULD FALL FOR HIS SAME FALSE FLAG BULLSHIT AGAIN OR THAT I WOULD EVER EVEN LOWER MY GUARD DOWN FOR A SINGLE FUCKING SECOND WITH HIM. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Have I been over-estimating Gavagai here? I've had great respect for his cunning and ruthless efficiency but this shit is so unbelievably stupid.

There's six possibilities I see here. One, he thinks I'm an idiot with AI-level brain. Two, he's an idiot and thinks he's playing against AIs and not people, Mindy McCready style. Three, he lured us back into this game to live out a revenge scenario against me. Four, he just accidentally clicked send open borders to me 50 times in a row. Five. He has some scheme, and thinks he can bully me into going along with what he wants regardless. Six, he's gonna dive after Maracana again in order to get a NAP outta me and then YOLO out on Gawdzak. Five seems like the most likely possibility but if so it was a really foolish blunder on his part to give me a peace treaty but then not build up himself. In 4 turns we'll be back at power parity again, and since I'm no longer in the space race (I'm still building a spaceship obviously but I can only win if a.) Gav razes' TBS's capital and then b.) somehow me/plako/Gawdzak raze Gav's capital, and thus there's no real hammer/tech "race" involved for me.) If we go at it in 4 turns, I'll probably lose, but I'm already losing now anyways, right? Six is the only non-idiotic possibility, but its also insanely risky.

Anyways I sent him two offers; 1.) I'll give him open borders if he stops building culture in the border cities near Maracana and clears all those fucking planes out (open borders for marble+dye+those two border cities; wasn't sure how to signal the planes), and b.) I told him that I will be redeclaring on him in 4 turns and will continue fighting to the death this time if I see any more fucking nukes pop up in green cities. (demanded all of his cities (yes this took forever) and all of his gold + uranium for soccer city, my city closest to Portugal). Mind your own shit. If you want to win the game, focus on TBS and leave me the fuck alone. If your plan is to NAP me again and fight me proxy via 2metra then I hope you realize that you're not the only one who can gift ICBMs.

other news. dtay finally joined in the war against 2metra and 2metra responded by razing like 5 of dtay's cities via hidden transports down in the ice. 2mtra also tried the same thing on me (again) but I killed them (again) - I guess he wasn't counting the number of times I bombed him per turn, or maybe just decided to YOLO it anyways. That really sucks for dtay but lesson learned, I hope... you can have all the Portuguese land, if you want it. I razed one of the Portuguese cities, I think it was a size-14er called Maryland, that was out of range of the tacts... he could still use the ICBMs but I should have enough battleships to stop him from actually killing anything. He doesn't have a lot of destroyers on hand as far as I can see. It would be really great for me if he attacks out though, even if I lose some ships. All I've ever wanted from this war is to get rid of his navy. 2metra will be effectively dead soon, I think. He still has like 50 units on the island and if he lightens his coastal garrisons at all he risks me razing cities from the sea, which means that dtay should be able to sweep ahead easily on land.

[GermanJoey]

A few pictures:

2metra is actually stacking the bulk of his forces on his eastern coast, not on the border with dtay. I don't have a land scout anymore so I can't see what dtay is doing, but based on recon missions from my carrier's fighters it looks like he's just bombing him.




Here's the ICBM. I thought there were two but I think its just one so far? He could have moved one. I was pretty deliriously tired when I wrote the last update so its possible that I just mis-remembered.




Here's where I was on T285, next to the city of Lisblis. I had really hoped to nail Maryland with all those transports, but they were split up the next turn and guarded by huge infantry stacks fetched from the island, so I opted to blow up that size 16 city of Rhodes instead.




Here's the current situation:







I blew up both island cities this turn, what a relief. One of my two main objectives from this war, now met. In fact, you could say this is the more important of the two because he won't be able to fork my west coast so easily without culture. I've had fairly minimal losses too... only lost 1 Marine and one Infantry, both at like 90% odds, heh, a sacrificial tank at Rhodes, and then a submarine carrying 3 cruise missiles that I had tried to slip around to help dtay with that 2metra spotted. In return, I've killed a few dozen of his. Unfortunately, the speed of my assault will now be greatly reduced because of those tacts. I need to keep at least four tiles away to avoid 2mn's potential to counter-attack via initiating with the ICBM + tacts and then shredding my battleships with destroyers. My treaty with Gav also expires in 2 turns... if I don't bring my western fleet back, his western fleet will run rampant through my western empire.

Gav gifted another 3 tacts last turn, by the way, *after* I sent my demand for him to stop or else war, and then moved his sub underneath my fleet as I guess his way of making a trollface. He sent no other diplo offer. This guy... well, looks like we'll be back at it again in 2 turns. Gotta try to make sure he doesn't jump ahead of me in the timer again on the critical turn, like last time. Either way, I'm sure to lose quite a few cities...

[GermanJoey]

It turns out my esteem of Gavagai was indeed far too generous and I was right not to give him open borders. He is going all-in on what looks to be a carefully planned invasion of me; I counted 127 land troops, 8 bombers, 6 fighters, 8 in-range tactical nukes, and who knows how many ICBMs. And, of course, there's his naval stacks. I believe that most of his transports will be empty, at least.




I have about equal numbers of troops that can defend but I feel like there's gonna be some catch. If he tries to nuke me then rush in, I'll be able to nuke him right back once his stack is compressed. 10 ICBMs and like 7 tacts is, like, 172 collateral hits? Another 50 or so from artilleries? Hmmm, that's actually not that much, he might be counting on sheer numbers... Does he have a great artist stashed in a submarine somewhere? If that's the case, there's not much I can do to save my stack; he'll be able to hit Maracana this turn and I don't have enough transports in range to evacuate it all.

At any rate, he will defeat me here for sure, but, as he's throwing everything he has at me, he's completely vulnerable to TBS. Now, if Gawdzak was still at the helm, he might have just stood by and done nothing. But will TBS be quite so passive, when he has an opportunity to completely decapitate Gavagai here? I really doubt it.

I wardecced and offered a NAP without attacking; if he attacks then offers it back I won't accept no matter what.