[spoilers] Commodore is actually pretty inept: August in Peru

[Commodore]

Rabid reading rowdies request rapid report!

Us:

(backwater)

[Commodore]

Um, we can tech?

[spacetyrantxenu]

What place does that move your GNP to?

[Commodore]

At least sixth!

[Commodore]

Fairly standard procedure is to take a halfhearted crack at Jowy's front city, have him massively reinforce, and take peace. He peace'd out, so we're back to building/recovery. Evil Empire, assemble!


I think this is very probably the most pitiful capital I've ever had this late in the game. It's also a little unfair...the lower house is evil too, how about renaming this to "Congress"? Anyway, growing very slowly on some nice fresh turtles (one of the most charming events, gotta say). Slowly I'm moving towards getting universities in my research cities; Oxford at least will be fast with stone/Ind. Not much more to say about the Capital of Evil.


The only other city of note is Z'ha'dum, Moai turdpile extraordinaire. Trading for health with Cornflakes it's finally able to grow a bit more, but it's a long road to irrigate to here. As is fairly common, we're now entering the workers-have-pants eras, so Moai in general start to flag, but it's still worthwhile as a nice little city. Its relative isolation could be a problem if 2metra gets antsy again.


Looking generally east, the near Evil core is fairly hammer-oriented, modest given the chronic food issues of my land. I'm halfway tempted to beeline Biology to get some more size on these cities, but they're all working their good tiles already. The Arkham with its two deer is practically a breadbasket for the area. Just keep turning hammers inefficiently into beakers, that's it.


Further on, we have the widely spaced cities of the eastern frontier. Stalag Fifteen just makes me laugh, it's so terrible but still turns a mild profit, so worth it for more than marble. The deer-and-nuthin city of Chaos Warp eats venison and sucks hind teat, while the Flying Dutchman actually is pretty nice, think of it as the regional capital. Skullcrusher Mountain is the front city for the northeast, with only those lakes for food all its own.


Turning to the northwest, Mt. Doom is a sad 2nd-city-booster-craphole while going north we see the only real gains ever made by warring. Those dyes are critical, for all that two cities share a single pig for food. I'm going to keep these guys in drafting size. Really do need some more worker love up here; I think we're in a peacefulish time with Cornflakes as he eats AT alive, at least.


The two good near-western cities have learned to love 3-food tiles; Yankee Stadium has grown on nothing but. Yankee Stadium is a great hammer spot now, in fact, and Labyrinth gets by nicely too. Once corps and Biology kick in I think we're going to settle the blank area west of the stadium, but for now the wide spread is all we can do with our foodlessness.


Finally, the Far West is pretty safe, pretty well fed by lake food, and pretty okayish. I'm going to farm and windmill everything at The Tain, Globe city of terribleness. The industrial base of this area is respectable, although the lower two cities are basically at full potential. It's okay, though, this is a good area and we did well to wall it off.


My general feeling that we're in third place behind Cornflakes and Bigger/TT is borne out by the demos. Tech trading being the terrible beast that it is, I have no idea where this will all end up but I'm running us light on troops to push towards Communism, Rifling, and Biology. Lacking infra, a SE/EE will probably be my main teching power moving forward, so don't expect the lairs of evil to ever be filled with wealth.

During their short, short lives our citizens are incredibly happy with their lot, however!

[Commodore]

"Go to The Tain for chilling winds and snow in the long winters and steamy sweltering downpours in the summer. None in that wretched place care, for they are sybarites, indulging in debauched laughter in a thousand crass theaters." -"Cornflake" Cupac, Lord of the Zulu

The Tain is the rotten cultural heart of the Good and Loving Empire, making up for a lack of unrest by massively unhealthy living conditions. Every third person in that wretched taint of a city is sick, from the chills of the climate to the gout and syphilis that come from their gluttonous and lustful lifestyles. The Emperor hopes to someday send thousands to work as scientists, but good luck getting the citizens of The Tain to obey any mandate save those of their stomachs or their loins.

[spacetyrantxenu]

Looks like the populace is out of control, with aught to do but procreate and revel in their filth. For all the Emperor's high hopes, I'm willing to bet he's never actually been to The Tain. If he ever does he's liable to order walls to be built, not to keep an enemy out, but to keep that unruly lot in.

[Commodore]

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh hrngyl Yin R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
"In his house at R'lyeh, the corpse-dark Yin Spirt waits dreaming"
-chant of the Yin Cultists of R'lyeh

The dim corpse-city of R'lyeh; nightmare of the Evil Yin Taoist School was built in horrific runnels of bloodshed, the vast, loathsome shapes seemingly seeped down from the dark stars. Unlike the Dark Confucians of most of the Good and Loving Empire, the twisted citizens of R'lyeh were Taoists of Mongol heresies deep. Within the city's halls lay the great Prophet of Yin and his hordes, hidden in green slimy vaults of stone.

[Commodore]

"Airs of rot and rust rise like a miasma from the hilly hulking city, the great city, Flying Dutchman. All who enter her gates rot and rust too, until all alike are washed down the gutters."

In a rainy, storm-wracked lake, legends speak of a ghost ship, house of a host of damned souls. The city Flying Dutchman squats upon the shores of the lake, named for the ship of legend and eternally drowning in daily rains. The noisome city eats the taxes of the riverlands to the south and the produce of the north and vomits fourth hard, cruel military men. The regional capital of the eastern empire, Flying Dutchman sends its legions of oppression for hundred of miles around, all for the greater glory of the Empire.

[Commodore]

"Welcome to the Pit of Despair. Don't even think of trying to escape."

Musty and damp, the Pit of Despair is a sunken mine made a teeming city of thousands. Sailors from the icy South Darkling Sea make call at this festering hive of humanity, spreading disease and coin up throughout the empire. This old, old city was built for copper back in days when bronze ruled the world, and then for a time the lower hamlets of the capital were supported by the governors of the Pit. Now it is a forgotten backwater, sucking years from the lives of its victim-citizens in great gnashing gulps.