Paranoid: An Adventure in Extreme Fishing[Lanun Spoilers]

[Acalostas]

Thank you for your inquiries.
8 hour update clock commencing.
Have a nice day.

:2dance:

The Cult of the Evil Lurkers is pleased [spoiler] for now...

[/spoiler]

[Brian Shanahan]

NEGATORY, CITIZEN. NO-ONE CAN FORGET CRAZY_STEVE. HIS ABSENCE WAS THE INTENDED RESULT OF SUBSIDIARY PROTOCOL "AS_SB@_R", ELIMINATING ALL FORMS OF TENTATIVE TERMINALLY-MISGUIDED MAYBE-PARODY FROM PROGRAM "B_@_TMA-n".




FOR QUESTIONING THE DEDICATED LURKER UNIT YOU HAVE EARNED 1 ("ONE") PUNISHMENT.



//: LOADING PUNISHMENT, PLEASE STANDBY...


> REFORMATTING GENEVA CONVENTION...


> PUNISHMENT READY.


> THE PUNISHMENT IS LIEFELDIFICATION !!!



















NEW RIBS, EYES, AND HUMANITY ARE AVAILABLE IN THE CAFETERIA.


HAVE A GOOD DAY.

Phew. And here I was thinking I'd end up with Youngblood's Disease.

[Selrahc]

The Green Menace

When last we left, the Complex(external) was staring defeat full in the face. The desperate attack of Captain Flashman had cost him his life, but weakened the wolf rider enough to buy time for a second defender to be constructed in Hex.

With that second defender.. a plan began to take shape.. it was crazy, it was costly, but it just might work.

The Scientists in the R and D department revealed their "Raging Sea's" generation unit. With just a small stockpile of unstable uranium it could unleash devastating tsunamis around the world with no more than minor losses to Computer shipping ventures.

It was a perfect plan. However, the Alien Invader was now too healthy for it to be guaranteed to work. The solution was obvious. Wait for the greenskins to attack the city, then deploy some hapless troubleshooter to defend. When the aliens were injured enough, trigger the raging sea generator and finish it off.

Of course, that didn't go quite to plan.


Because newly promoted team leader Commissar Cain-R-HEX-1 made sure that the raging sea generator wasn't needed.


Which was good, because later investigation by the R&D project supervisor determined that not only did the project not work, requiring more advanced laser crystals than could currently be produced to be viable, but that the button to trigger it had been pushed despite Commissar Cain's victory, potentially endangering the lives of thousands of loyal Alpha citizens needlessly without the express consent of the Computer.

The Intsec round up executed half a dozen people. Cain was the newest hero of Alpha Complex. The half completed Raging Sea generator was placed into extremely secure custody for further testing.

Meanwhile, in the furthest northlands the Chosen One continues his hellish travails, nominally on an expedition to find the last lost tribe of Surface Mutants.

He'd worked it out. All of it. The entire world.

He had been born in the land of Metal. The land of Rules. Far beneath the surface.
He'd gone into the light, at the insistence of the wailing voices of the machines. He had found himself in the land of Water and Frost.
Walking beyond that, he had come to the rolling plains and tundra of the land of Earth. It was there that he had realized his destiny. That he had cast aside the shackles of Alpha Complex to become a transcendent being.

[SIZE="1"](The Chosen one popped another pill. Things had been so much less complicated since he'd starting taking those.)[/SIZE]

And as a Chosen One, he had walked into the burning deserts of the land of fire. And there he was tested. He could still feel the fire beneath his skin. His frame was racked and withered with the terrors he had seen. A transcendent being must experience these things, lest he stop being humble.

But he had gone beyond that now. Beyond metal, beyond water, beyond fire. He walked into the fluffy white clouds of the kingdom of Air.

[SIZE="1"](Although thinking back, the fluffy white clouds felt a lot like the snowy white fields of the kingdom of water... but he put that thought aside.)/SIZE]




He knew that beyond the kingdom of Air would be the Kingdom of Ether. Where he would take his true place amongst the gods.

[SIZE="1"](And when he was a god, there would be some changes and that was for sure.)[/SIZE]

But for now.. he lay down on the fluffy white..
[SIZE="1"]cold, freezing[/SIZE]
clouds. He needed a good long rest. He was beyond the realm of trials now.


By the time the bears arrived, he was already frozen.

After the Alien attacks, life returned to normal in Alpha Complex...

With the discovery of fishing, work began on the first fishing fleets. With the discovery of Ancient Chants, the workers were very very very happy to repeatedly hear the latest company loyalty jingles. The first living and dead fish specimens were beginning to be captured, and sent back to the Underplex . Things were looking good for Hex Province.



And in the heady days of T30, the first large scale intensive fishing fleet was completed. With a plan to heavily increase capture yields of Crabs, fishing production was set to boom.

On the night before the fleet set out however shadowy figures replaced many members of the crew... What was their goal? Why did so many of them have peg legs?

Of course the Computer concerned itself with higher affairs than just fishing [ERROR-FISHING IS PRIORITY 1]{Commence coherency override} concerned itself with other concerns than just fishing.

Clearance Ultraviolet

The Peacetranauts and Peacebot await their next dangerous assignment of peace and goodwill.

Diplomatic Relations of the Complex.

Contact has been established with the majority of the Surface Mutant tribes, despite the erratic behaviour of Scout Team 1.

Contact with factions: Khazad, Amurite. Non Important. These factions are distant from the complex and provide little immediate hazard to fishing activities.

Contact with faction: Elohim
Peacetranauts have established that the Elohim value arbitrary moral codes above all things. They will declare war only on "Evil" factions, which seems to be mainly determined by lax standards of lab protocols. They are to be treated with caution. Possible cultural exchange is planned. It is possible that with proper coaching they could be persuaded of the cultural supremacy of the fishing lifestyle.

Contact with faction: Hippus
This faction appears to be extremely warlike and angry. Accordingly Peacebot was sent to the faction, to establish the power and dominance of Alpha Complex. We have scared this backwards and foolish tribe to the extent that they've agreed to leave us alone until T100. Their primitive brains refused to accept this without a piffling granting of tribute water mana, but such concessions must be made so that peace may flow.

All immediate neighbours are currently pacified. Research projects continue unabated. Scouting efforts have been concluded for the moment.

What could possibly go wrong?

[Rawkking Goodguy]

Secret Societies and You: A guide to the shadier side of Alpha Complex.
Clearance Violet.
View by lower clearance citizens is punishable by medication testing.

[COLOR="Violet"]
*snip*

Of course there is a much more dangerous subset within the Leopards.
The Ashen Phreaks.

Ashen because of their unhealthy pallor, after spending all day hunched over their summoning circles. They spend their time looking for quick hax into the magitech systems of the computer. The great dream of the Phreaks is Computer 2.0, a complete upgrade of the existing system, out of the hands of those fascist high programmers.[/COLOR]

This gives me an idea, and one potentially spoilerific question about your plans.

Will there be cake?

Edit: Also I could have sworn that that text mentioned building a new computer earlier! My dreams, crushed :[

[Brian Shanahan]

Rawkking, please let me draw your attention to exhibit A:

yours sincerely,

GLADoS.

P.S.
I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal, very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.

[Selrahc]

A lot of the diplomacy I've been doing and not posting up, I've been attempting to subtly convey long term plans for the Lanun, that I obviously have no intention of following but which sound workable.

So, I've concocted a fake plan that I can accidentally reveal details of. I normally tend to ramble on a bit, having a fake plan gives me something to ramble on about without giving away my real objectives.

I've tried to talk both of my neighbours into giving me large chunks of coastline. I think I've actually been rather annoyingly persistent about it.

I think I've got a workable plan for how the Lanun can be made to work beyond just a Hyborem rush.

With Sun Mana and Fellowship of Leaves the land can be converted wholesale into Ancient Forest Tundra Lumbermills. 2-2 or 1-3 tiles aren't great, but they aren't too shabby either, especially for a fairly production starved civ on an awfully bleak map. Give me two thirds of the coastline and the time to develop it and I think the Lanun would be a power to reckon with long term.

Militarily, I think you can do a lot worse than Ratha's and Chalid. Going from Fellowship to Empyrean would be the religion plan.

I think from the map, taking advantage of the NAP's with my neighbours to farmers gambit a good research base from coastal cities, grabbing the inland starting position with my 4th city, in time to develop Sun Mana from the local node and starting the process of scorching the land. From there to develop into leaves and start building priests.

Militarily, that would leave me relying on mainly Priests, Adepts and Warriors for defence. Been there before... Hopefully people would see it as me repeating my previous behaviours. I'm just glad that it isn't actually my plan... Because much as it could end up with niceish land and decent long term prospects it does rather beg someone to smash me into pieces as I move around amongst economic and religious techs while displaying scary GNP.

Hopefully, the fake plan is good enough to deflect suspicion. It's not the most coherent thing in the world, and if I was doing it for real I would improve it. But it should suffice...

[NobleHelium]

What are you planning to do anyway? Or are you not posting that at the moment?

Also, do you regret moving to the coast?

[Selrahc]

What are you planning to do anyway? Or are you not posting that at the moment?

Um.. have I not been clear?

We're Hyborem rushing! Fast as I possibly can.

Which in the test runs, has been T85-95 from a similarly icy start. With agreements from Dantski and Sciz, it doesn't look like anyone will stop me so the only real danger is from the Kuriotates possibly beating us there.

[Amelia]

You can't lumbermill Ancient Forests, i think.

[Bobchillingworth]

Right, but if you build a lumbermill on a forest before it turns ancient, you get to keep it once it does.